I am a person who thinks alot, perhaps too much sometimes. I know that Satan has taken the opportunity on several ocassions to put doubt and fear in my head. I know that God is in control and he is watching over me and my family. I wish I was a stronger person to deal with things. I know that the direction we are going in is right but I feel overwhelmed. I sometimes feel that maybe we should just play it safe and we will be ok. I don't know what God has in store for me and my family, but I know the man I married and we will never take the "safe" road. I have a feeling that I could get so much more out of life if I just relied on God and let Him take full control of everything in my life.

I feel so overwhelmed, confused, and just lost. I know it sounds weird but it is hard to think clearly sometimes. The worst part is that I don't think I can talk to anyone and tell them everything I feel. I try to pray but that is hard too. I don't know, hopefully one of these days it will get better.

School

Well tomorrow is registration day!! My son will be in 1st grade! How crazy is that?!? I am hoping that he has a good teacher. I know he will learn a whole lot. It is amazing to me how quickly he is growing. He is a lot like his father. He is very smart. It amazes me how much he knows and how his mind works. If he doesn't let things frustrate him, he is going to be an excellent student. Just hope that I can be the parent he needs to help him in whatever he needs.

My mom is coming to registration tomorrow morning. I am happy she wants to be involved. She is not around a whole lot so I am happy she wants to be involved. Here's hoping for a good day tomorrow. 1st grade here we come!

Been a while

Wow I didn't realize how long it had been since I have posted here.

Well lets see what all has happened... Trip to Mexico, Phil leaving, school about to start. Life just keeps going on and on.

I will begin with the Mexico trip. I have a lot of regrets from this trip. I wish I would have gotten more involved with the people and not worried about the language barrier. I wish I would have prepared myself better for all that I would encounter and experience. I realize it was my first mission trip and my first trip outside the US but I feel like I could have done so much more.

It was great to experience the culture a little and see the scenery. It is a beautiful country. Of course if I ever go again I will be more prepared. Hindsight is 20/20.

Now Phil is gone. This time is much different than the last. The kids understand more and I know where he is now. I am hoping that once school starts and we get on a good schedule that we will be too busy to think about him too much. I know the time will pass quickly too. I also know that we are moving when this part is done so I think that is what makes it hard as well. I know this is not an impossible life and countless others are doing it right now. It is very hard.

I am hoping to find a distraction to keep me from losing my mind. We shall see....